After Everything
by alexywill22
Summary: Alter the events in LA, Spike goes to Buffy to give her some bad news. This is my closure after both BTVS and ATS ended. Read and Review! Please…
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So this is a story i've already posted but had to take out cause of a little writters block. The weeks turn into months and so on, but now it is done! So for the people who were reading this, sorry for the wait, and for the new readers review me please. nothing more to say for now

CHAPTER 1

**X**ander had never thought how fast time had flown until today. When the whole splitting into different continents thing came out, he opted for Africa right away. He knew that no matter how much Willow and Buffy loved him, they wouldn't go with him. Africa was going to be a hard territory for the "New Council" to conquer. Many of the slayers there were probably in native tribes and would probably take a long time to locate, not to mention convincing them to come to England to train. It was perfect. Then he could be alone. Like he wanted to. He needed time. To forget. To forget that he only had one eye. To forget Sunnydale. To forget the battle. To forget that Anya died. And he got his time. But today his time was up. He was going back to England.

* * *

**D**awn was thrilled. It had been two months or was three?since she last saw the Council. They finally built a proper training room; with actual weapons this time. She rushed to the library. It was even more amazing than she had imaging. There were thousands of ancient texts in there. This was a progress. Things were finally getting on the right track. 

"There you are!" Dawn spun around to see her sister walking in. Buffy never did care about the book-part of slaying, but even she was impress with the library. "This certainly beats Giles's bookcase."

"Where's is he, by the way?"

"Robin said there was some problem in Liverpool. Some slayer got into a fight."

"When's he coming back?"

"Sometime tomorrow." Buffy answered as she made her way to the window. She looked outside with a sad expression. She was definitely thinking of him. "We should rest up. It was a long flight." Buffy said to her.

"I think I'll just look around some more." Buffy nodded and walked away. Dawn knew she was still upset about what happened with "The Immortal". Dawn didn't like him from the start. Ok, maybe she did. That was something she thought no one could avoid. He was liked by... well, everyone. Buffy fell for him. And now she didn't want to talk about it. Well, maybe this trip would be good for her. Take her mind off him. Dawn hope it would.

* * *

**S**he was doing that thing again. Where she just stood there and stared blankly at the wall. At lease it was at the wall this time. She never slept. Maybe because she was really a possessed corpse. Or maybe, sleeping for, who knows how many zillion years in a coffin was sleep enough. Either way, Illyria's little stares where getting on Spike's nerves. 

They were in London of all places. Spike knew he would return home someday. Where he was born. Where he was killed. And where he had been born again. As a demon. Where he met his first love. Cecily. Where he met his first passion. Drusilla. Where he met him.

Angel.

He didn't want to think about Los Angeles. The images came to him anyway. The hard pouring rain. The smell of Gunn's blood. When Illyria told them Wesley died. When the army attacked. When he heard Gunn's dead body fall to the ground among all the chaos. When he loss consciousness. When he woke up alone, surrounded by corpses. When Illyria told him Angel died.

"The pain surrounds us still." Illyria's words nearly startled Spike. "How long does human grief has to last?

He didn't answer. He didn't know. He remembered when Buffy died. He felt like he'd never get over it. This was different. He'll probably forget eventually. But the pain was still there. And he knew he had to pass it to her. He didn't want to. But Buffy deserves to know. She loved Angel. And somehow, though it was very ironic, Spike was the one she had to hear it from.

* * *

**T**he council had really change. It was over a year since Xander last saw it, but "Wow" was the only word he could think of. Vi was the first to meet him. She filled him in quickly while she took him to his room. Giles had pull some strings with what was left of the old council's resources. He founded the place as a school for girls. Which was technically not a lie. And Giles was actually giving them a proper education that not only involved demons. 

They had over a hundred girls already training there, something Xander noticed on the way to his room. The place was pack with teenage girls. Once in a while he'd see a twenty-year-old and Vi told him that there are older slayers, but they can pass as students so they trained privately.

"This is your room." The young slayer said as she opened the door to, what Xander believe, was a five-star hotel bedroom. "I have to go. Training sessions in five minutes." Vi left after that. Xander didn't even ask if the others had arrived. He let himself fall on the bed and a few minutes later he was in dreamland.

* * *

**T**he field was beautiful that day. Dawn was glad that Giles found a place with lots of open space. She went to the barn to see if there were any free horses. She was dying for a ride. But sadly the horses were all taken. One of the many ex-potentials was already riding off with the last one as Dawn got there. She thought in going back to the school when she noticed someone sitting by a three. A redheaded woman Could it be?Dawn walk closer to confirm. 

"Dawnie!" It was her. Willow looked great. Brazil must've been working out for her. She stood up and they hugged. Ten minutes later they were on their way back to the school.

Willow was going on and on about this encounter with a priestess who wanted to steal some crystal. Dawn tried to follow most of it. It seems the priestess was the one responsible for Willow's little astral-projection disaster in the Himalayas. Dawn remembered when Buffy heard the news. She was so scared she was ready to fly to there herself, but the whole problem had been solve before Buffy bought a plane ticket.

"So... is Buffy still..." Willow trailed off not wanting to cause any trouble. She was worried about her. Willow had only met "The Immortal" once. But she knew Buffy was falling for him.

"She says she doesn't want to talk about it."

"Poor Buffy." Dawn smiled. Willow always worried about everyone. It was nice to have her back. They made to the building and bump into Vi, who told them Xander had arrived and was in his room. Willow suggested they all would see each other at dinner, that way Xander could get some rest. Dawn agreed and headed to her and Buffy's room. It was nice to be together again.

* * *

**N**ight had finally fallen. Not that Spike couldn't have gone out during the day. There were the sewers. But Spike was not in a hurry. After all he was avoiding her. He had been since he came back. He didn't even have the guts to go to her when he became corporeal again. But it wasn't about him anymore. It was about Angel now. 

"I think this is the way." Illyria told the cab driver in Fred's voice. Spike told her it would be best to look more normal when they were out, but he forgot how hard it was for him to see her imitate Fred. He knew it wasn't her. He could smell it. He could sense it. But it still hurt.

The cab stopped at a huge estate. Summers Academy. Spike wondered who came up with the name. It was probably the watcher. It seems like his sort of thing. Probably as a reward to Buffy or something like that. They paid the driver and got out.

"Do you wish me to remain in this form?" Illyria's voice asked in Fred's body.

"Probably for the best if you do." Spike told her as they walk to the gate. Yeah. This most certainly was going to be Hell.

* * *

**X**ander woke up realizing it was night. Great, now he's sleep time was officially ruing for the rest of the week. He found a note at the night table. It was Willow's. She said they were having dinner at nine. Xander looked at his watch. Then, remembered he was in London not Kenya and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 8:37. He got up and headed into the shower. 

After twenty minutes, he was ready. He let himself into the hallway and was scared he might get lost on the new building. Thank God he ran into Shannen. She told him where the private dinning room was, and in about ten minutes he found it.

Buffy hugged him first. Willow and Dawn grabbed him at the same time. Xander was surprise to see it was just the four of them.

"Andrew's late!" Dawn explained. "He got held up in his class." Xander couldn't believe Giles's what's actually letting Andrew teach. Andrew was probably the more active member of the gang. The one that took the time to travel to every base of the council. Every base but Africa.

Xander thought of Andrew often. He was the last person to see Anya alive. He was the only one of the Sunnydale survivors that Xander wanted to be around with after it happen. He didn't know why. Well he did. But he didn't like the reason.

"Kennedy's catching up with the others, she'll be come over later." Willow said with a smile. She and Kennedy broke up months ago, but they've remained good friends. And Kennedy and Xander actually kept in touch often. Well, she was the manlier one of Xander's friends. And that included Andrew.

The door opened and Kennedy looked surprise as she walked in. "You're not going to believe who's here." She said as she approached the table.

"Who is it?" Dawn asked alarmed.

But Kennedy didn't have to answer, cause Spike made his way in.

* * *

**D**awn couldn't believe it. It was dream. It had to be. Spike? Alive? Well, maybe not alive but not totally dead either. And who was that girl with him? Spike looked like he was about to say something but Andrew walked in before he could. 

"Spike!" Andrew shrieked in surprise. "You came!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kennedy interjected. "You knew he was back?"

"Um..." Andrew looked ashamed. He did know. Why didn't he tell her? Dawn thought they have gotten close. Andrew even revealed to her his best kept secret. But he never told her this.

"Don't blame the boy." Spike spoke up. The attention was on him now. "I made him promise not tell."

"Why? Are you evil?"

"Xander, stop." Willow ordered to Xander as she held him back. But Dawn wondered the same.

"No, I'm not." Spike answered not taking his eyes off Buffy. Buffy looked externally surprise. She hadn't spoken. And Dawn thought she couldn't even if she tried.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" Willow asked him, obviously trying to calm the group down.

"It's a long story." He started. "But I need to speak to Buffy alone first." They all looked at Buffy. Dawn didn't know what her sister was going through right now. Buffy nodded her approval and one by one they left the room. Dawn gave a quick look as Spike. Whatever the news he was about to tell Buffy was, it was definitely bad news.

In the hallway, Xander and Kennedy had cornered Andrew, forcing to tell them how much he knew. Willow was looking at the door, worrying about what was going on. Dawn turned her attention to the girl that came with Spike. She was a skinny girl. Long brown hair. It's not that she wasn't an attractive girl. It's just she didn't seem Spike's type. She looked like a nice girl. Spike doesn't date nice girls.

"Hi, I'm Dawn." She said to the girl as she walked to her. She didn't answer. She just tilted her head, in a way Dawn thought, looked unnatural. She looked Dawn over.

"You're irradiating light. You're body was once energy." The girl told her, in a voice that didn't seem human. It had been a long time since dawn thought about being the key. An ancient ball of energy that could tear the fabric of the whole dimension. Maybe this girl was crazy. It would explain why she knows Dawn's the key. Only the insane can see the truth. Maybe Dawn shouldn't be talking to the possibly insane woman that hangs out with a supposed to be dead vampire.

"I'm just going to wait over there." She told the girl and walk to Willow. Dawn was growing concern over Spike's news.

* * *

**S**pike started from the beginning. Returning as ghost. Becoming corporeal. The infamous Shanshu prophecy. He had to stop for a moment when Buffy reacted to Cordelia's death. He thought they knew. Guess Angel kept it to himself. 

"She died?" Was all Buffy could say. Spike continued. When he got to the battle. It was obvious Buffy knew where he was going. She seemed surprised to hear about Wesley, but not that taken about it.

"It was an army a hundreds," Spike began after a moment. When he said the words, Buffy was already in tears. This was what he didn't want. To make her suffer. Willow came in, obviously impatient to find out what was the news.

Spike gave Willow a shorter version. He'd only stopped when Willow seemed confuse over Fred's dead. "But she's outside." The witch said to him gesturing to the door. Spike didn't know Willow and Fred knew each other. He told her about Illyria and Willow was understandably upset. She got more upset finding out about Cordelia and Wesley, and even Gunn, who Spike didn't know she knew either.

As Spike told Willow about Angel, he kept an eye on Buffy who had been standing in the corner of the room with a lost stare. Willow went to her side after Spike had finish. Spike had walked out of the room and told Illyria it was time to go.

"Spike!" Dawn called out before they left. "There're plenty of rooms here! You can stay here."

"No luv." He answered sadly. "I can't. I just can't." And he and Illyria left. It was worst than he had imaging.

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2:

**X**ander did not sleep that night. And it's not like he could blame it on being on African time anymore. Cordelia died? Why didn't anyone tell him? This was not what he needed right now. He had just gotten over Anya, and now this. Willow said she was in a coma. Why no one in Angel's team say anything? Willow had taken the time to tell them about Buffy's death, and she even called them when she was resurrected. Xander didn't understand why they didn't bother doing the same with Cordelia.

Xander left his room early the next morning. He made his way to Andrew's. He needed answers. And the girls didn't have any. But Andrew had seen Angel last year. Maybe he could help him understand.

* * *

**S**pike is back. Angel and Cordelia are dead. Dawn had manages to sort of accept those huge bombshells drop on her last night. The only way for her to be able to get out of bed was to not think about it at the moment. Focus on something or someone else. She was thinking in Buffy. How was Buffy handling it? The last time Angel died she ran to Los Angeles for a whole summer. But this was different.

"Dawn, over here." Kennedy called to Dawn to join her by the lake, where she was talking to Kelly and Gail, two of the now many slayers.

"Hey." Dawn greeted. "Please tell me you're talking about anything but last night's events."

"Are you kidding? A vampire coming back from the dead is huge!" Kelly said.

"It's not as huge as you think." Dawn told the slayer remembering Angel's comeback. "Besides, he's good now. He has a soul." Dawn added channeling her inner Buffy.

"He is good." Gail said. "When we were staying at Buffy's he didn't kill us. And he could've."

"Well he may be good, but it's still weird how he... de-dusted?" Kennedy interjected.

It was weird. And thanks to these slayers Dawn was thinking about it. She only hope Buffy was having a better time dealing with it.

* * *

"You're upset." Illyria once again stated the obvious. Spike didn't bother to reply. Her face was all he could think about. He hated himself. Buffy was hurt. And he cause it. Why the he hell did everything had to turn out this way? Why was he the messenger? Why the bloody fates keep torturing his existence? Why didn't he care anymore?

"I wish to go out." The blue hair woman said as she left the small hotel room they were staying in. Spike didn't bother to ask about her private escapades. All he could think about was Buffy. Nothing but.

What happen to the vampire in him? Or better yet, what happen to the man? What is he supposed to do now? Live like Angel? Help the helpless? He needed to move on. He needed to see her again.

* * *

"Xander!" Andrew seemed surprised to see him. He left Xander in without even waiting for him to ask him. Andrew always gave Xander what he wanted. Something that Xander did not enjoy. "Can I help you?" The younger man asked.

"I was just wondering..."

"Why didn't I tell you about Spike."

"That's not where I was planning to go, but yeah."

Andrew looked down. He was obviously ashamed about keeping a secret from the gang. It still surprised Xander how long Andrew kept this to himself. The guy was, for lack a better word, a total blabber mouth. And he thought that Andrew understood that he was one of them now. He shouldn't keep secrets.

"I wanted to tell you." Andrew answered breaking the silence that had taken over.

"I'm not mad. I just... this is way to much information to handle right now." Xander started to pace around. "I was just getting over Anya... I..." Xander wanted to cry. But the tears simply stopped flowing a long time ago.

Andrew sat on his bed, looking down to his feet and spoke softly. "I'm sorry. But I didn't think it was appropriate to tell you guys. He needed to tell you himself."

"You're right." Xander said as he sat next to Andrew. "I just wanted to know if you knew about Cordelia."

"Oh." Andrew's face said it all. He didn't know. Xander knew he wouldn't. But Andrew gave him comfort. And that's what he wanted. He hated himself for it.

* * *

**D**awn spent the rest of that day walking in the hallways. Every once in awhile she peeked inside the classrooms. She was avoiding the Elephant in the room as they say. Why do things always get complicated when they seem to be fine?

"Dawn!" Willow said when she bumped into her. "Sorry. I guess my mind's in other places."

"I know the feeling" Dawn agreed before adding "Unless you're talking literally, because of magic your mind's in other places?"

"No. I meant I feel all weirdly because of Spike visit." The witch corrected.

"I wish Giles were here." Dawn wished. The watcher had been having to many responsibilities to actually spend anytime with them. And he still hadn't return from Liverpool.

"Maybe we can call him tonight." Willow offered. "Maybe we can convince him to comeback early."

Dawn only hope.

* * *

**N**ight. It was time to go back to see Buffy. After a few failed attempts of walking out of the hotel and a couple of shots of "courage", he was on his way to the Summers Academy. To see her.

It was the only solution. They only way he could think of to move on. For the past seven years or so Buffy Summers has been all that had identified him. When he was the vampire that wanted to kill her. When he was the vampire that had no choice, thanks to a bloody chip, but to fight on her side. When he was the vampire that loved her. When he was the vampire that search and got a soul for her. When he was the vampire who died saving the world for her. And later being the vampire that took her from Angel.

Buffy Summers defined him. But were they going to have a future together? No. It was stupid to hold on. Guess it's time for closure. Like every good love story, they needed an ending. And now was as good a time as any.

* * *

**X**ander open the door to his room. He felt terrible. He had done it again. He had taken advantages of Andrew. A boy that had an obvious crush on him. And Xander had used him, yet again.

After the battle, Xander did not speak with the others for a while. He had made some jokes about it, acting normal for the others, but inside he was torn up. He had never left Sunnydale, except for the time when he left on his failed road trip. And now his home was gone.

Ok, Sunnydale was never an ideal place to live, but that's where he grew up. He lost his home. His family didn't even bother to tell them where they went. Not that he couldn't find out anyway. And he loss Anya. He didn't think Buffy, or even Willow could understand. And then there was him.

Andrew.

Andrew was the walking image of what Xander felt during those days. He felt guilty over his past, and over his part taking in the First's plans.

It started innocently enough. He would sneak in his room at night and talk to Andrew. About stupid stuff. And then about what was bothering them. He eventually started to accidentally fall asleep in his room during their talks. But then, it was a regular deal that lasted about four months. And yes, there was sex. Although it happen like maybe three or five times. Most night they just help each other. They were intimate. All he wanted was someone who cared for him. And no matter how much Buffy and Willow loved him, the only one that would give him the attention he wanted to move on was Andrew.

And then, What does Xander do? He leaves for Africa without an explanation. He kept in touch with Andrew, but it was obviously not like before. He knew that he broke Andrew's hearth and still felt guilty about it for a long time.

And what? He returns and he does it again. He felt like scum. But then, again, when it came to relationships he always made wrong decisions.

When he was with Cordelia he made out with Willow. When he was with Anya he left her at the altar. And now Andrew. All of these relationships started for selfish reasons. With Cordy it was teen hormones. With Anya it was sex. With Andrew it was companionship. But the first two turned into love. Couldn't it happen with Andrew? Or did he wish it would happen so he wouldn't feel like he was using him.

* * *

"Are you ok?" Dawn asked Andrew when they were having dinner that night.

"I'm fine." He said quickly. How's Buffy doing?" he asked obviously wanting to change the subject.

Dawn felt there was more to Andrew's mood, but she let it go. "She's... well... I haven't seen her since this morning, when I woke up. She didn't want to talk."

"Angel was cool. He looked like a nice guy when I met him." Andrew said still avoiding the real issue.

"He was. If he didn't loose his soul." Dawn started to remember when she met Angel. She was just kid, sure. To her Angel was this dark guy who like to talk a lot. But he did save her when stuff happened. He was nice. Buffy must be a wrecked right about now.

"Dawn?" Andrew brought Dawn back from her thoughts.

"What?" She said hoping he was going to tell her what was bothering him.

Andrew hesitated first and then said "I talked to Giles about operating from the US."

Not what Dawn expected. "Really? Why?"

"Well, I think is for the best." Andrew started. "I think we all need a place to go back to a more familiar place."

"Hmm, I guess I've been thinking about moving back there myself" dawn admitted. She had finished her studies and was looking for a Collage education. She could use that as an excuse to move back to California.

"You think Xander will go back to Africa if he has the option to move back?" So that's why he was acting strange. He was afraid Xander would leave him again.

Dawn knew what was going on between them. But with everything going on it slip her mind. Spike being back certainly beat Xander being gay or bisexual or just like Andrew in a stronger than friendship way. Why analyze what makes two people happy? But something was wrong now. Andrew had not updated Dawn on the situation. So something must've happen. Maybe it didn't work long distance.

"I'm sure he'll go if you asked him." Dawn told Andrew and he seemed to like that answer. If only Buffy's problem could be solved that easily.

* * *

**S**pike entered the School grounds. He didn't want to make as big deal like last night, so he made sure he was careful sneaking in.

The place was like a mace. But lucky for Spike he was a vampire. And thanks to that he could follow Buffy's scent. He was thankful that the slayers were not in the same wing as Buffy. He didn't want to imagine how fast he would be spotted if he was walking down those hallways.

He opened the door to what appear to be a training room. Buffy was taken out her anger on a punching bag. Hit after hit. Each blow got stronger every minute. She then proceeded to kick it several times. Then a punch, jab, double punch, high kick, punch, three more kicks and the final blow. The bag burst open and the sand fell on her feet. She looked at Spike not seeming surprise he was there.

"Sun sets an he appears." Buffy greeted Spike like he greeted her once. At lease she seem better today.

"How are you?" Spike asked cursing himself for not coming up with anything better to say. He was a poet for God sakes.

"I'm... coping." Buffy said grabbing a fighting staff. "Wanna fight?" Spike was not expecting Buffy to be so ok with this. But he knew that he had cried all day. Maybe she was moving to the anger stage of dealing with death. To vampires thew death stages stopped existing. People die you move on. Unless the person that dies is Buffy. At lease in Spike's case

Spike accepted the challenge. He took his coat off and grabbed another fighting staff. "Wow, I can believe you still have that coat." Buffy exclaimed as they took their positions.

"Actually is not the same one." He said just before she made her first move.

The fight was a good way to break the ice. Spike hadn't had a fight in quite a while. Last one he could remembered happen after the big fight actually. A vampire tried to attack a young boy. Spike was strong enough to fight him, though it was Illyria who killed him off.

Buffy caught Spike of guard and swept the staff under his feet. He fell on his back. Buffy pointed the staff to his hearth. "And you're dead." she said and then help Spike up.

"I see you haven't lost your touch." Spike complemented.

"Guess not." Buffy said, before she kissed him. Spike was not expecting this. But he didn't refuse him. He wanted to get closure. But it seems to be something that was not going to happen soon.

**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hope you like the ending, cause this fic was going to be longer but I coulnd't find a way to drag it out. but is still the ending I wanted. don't forget to review.

CHAPTER 3:

**X**ander was abruptly woken up that night by some sort of commotion outside. He manages to lift himself out the bed and peek into the hallway. There was bunch of girls in pajamas watching something. The something being two girls fighting. Xander remembered when this could've been a fantasy, but these girls were far from pillow fighting. They were really causing damage.

"Hey!" He shouted. "What's going on?" The girls didn't stop fighting. He didn't understand why two slayers were fighting. Then, he noticed that one of the girls was dress completely in leather and had blue hair streaks. A demon? No, she looked familiar. It was that Fred girl. She looked a lot different. Xander didn't know she had those moves.

"I was searching for Spike, when this one attacked." Fred said as she threw the slayer to the ground.

"Spike?" Xander understood. Spike probably came to see Buffy and didn't tell his new girlfriend. Xander decided to help her find him, so he could go to sleep sooner.

* * *

**D**awn woke up to go bathroom. She noticed that Buffy's bed was empty. Where was she? Training? At this hour? Probably. 

Dawn walked out in the hall and headed to the bathroom. She found it strange that a group of slayers were walking around at that hour. "Jenny!" Dawn called to the ten-year-old slayer.

"Dawn!" She answered. "Did we wake you?"

"Not really. Is everything all right?" Dawn asked.

"There was a demon here. But Xander said she was a friend." The young slayer explained.

A demon? Well that can't be good. Dawn headed to find Buffy. It would best to tell her what's going on.

* * *

**T**hey were kissing. Her lips were still as sweet as Spike remembered. Vampire memory was good. But the real thing was ten times better. He had wanted this for so long. This perfect moment. To taste her again, to feel her. 

Buffy.

"Buffy!" Harris's voice broke the moment.

"Xander!" The slayer looked ashamed. It didn't hurt Spike. There was just too much history between the three, it was bound to be awkward. Xander had loved Buffy. Spike slept with Anya. It was best not to justify the kiss to the boy. He would never understand.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but you're "friend" came looking for you Spike." Xander said as Illyria walked in.

"What is it?" Spike asked as she walked to the ex god ruler.

"You weren't in your room." Illyria said like Spike was supposed to understand.

"So...?" He asked hoping to get more out of the demon.

"I was..." she trailed of.

"Concern?" Spike tired to help. Illyria looked away and started to walk out. "Where are you going?" Spike called after her.

"I'll be waiting outside." She told him before exiting.

"What's up with her?" Xander said as he turned to face Spike. "Could it be that you were here making out with your ex?"

"What?" Spike was momentarily confuse, but then, he understood. "She's not my girlfriend!" Spike turn to Buffy. "She's just... jumpy. After the battle..." Spike couldn't finish.

"Xander," Buffy turned to Harris. "I need to talk to Spike. Do you mind?"

"No." Xander obviously lied. A vampire can tell. "I'll be waiting with the blue wonder." He said and exited. Great. They kiss ended, so now comes the talk.

* * *

**X**ander found Illyria standing by a window. He walked to her, wanting to seem helpful. "I didn't think you have those moves." She looked at him. "Not that you looked weak. I didn't mean-" 

"I am weaker." She started. "I used to possessed so much power that it made every creature trembled with the sound of my name." Xander didn't think Fred was that threatening name. She continued. "I used to walked through dimensions as easy as you take one breath. And then I was driving under. Put to sleep. All my battles, all my glory, and I couldn't be giving an appropriate vessel."

"I don't think I follow you very well."

Fred didn't seem to notice. "I had thousands of followers. And all my greatness was taking away. I'm now force to walk among the humans. To feel what they feel. To be hurt. Not only in a physical way." This reminded Xander of another demon he used to know. Anya was force to become human. Twice. "I now feel concern for a vampire. How low I have fallen."

"I don't think you fell." Xander told her, thinking in Anya. "It takes a strong will to become human. And you seemed to be doing ok. The trick is to not focus on the bad. Humans can bring good stuff too. Our feelings are not always painful."

Fred looked at him for a while before saying. "You're pain is still with you. How can you say that you don't feel it?"

"I... I feel the pain. But I also let happiness in." Xander hoped he was explaining himself.

"Maybe you're right." Fred looked out the window. "I still considered the night beautiful."

"Yes it is." Xander thought he did made himself clear. Looks like Fred was ready to start to move on from her pain. Xander felt a little sleepy after a few minutes. He excused himself and walked to his room. But all sleep was forgotten when he found Andrew waiting for him there.

* * *

**D**awn walked to the training room, where she assumed Buffy would be. She saw a girl waiting in the hallway. It was that girl with Spike. Fred something. But she looked extremely different. She was dress in leather, had blue eyes and blue hair. "Hi." Dawn greeted. 

Fred looked at her. "How is it possible?" She asked. "You walked in a human body, yet you are far from human."

Dawn cautiously stepped back. "Who are you? How can you see me... my true form?"

"I can't see it. Not with this human body. But I can feel it. You're what he ancients used to called the Key."

Dawn stepped back, but Fred stepped closer. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing. You are like me." Dawn didn't understand. "You used to be powerful, now you're condemn to live among them. The humans."

"I guess." Dawn just wanted to find Buffy. "Is Spike here?"

"He is speaking to the blonde girl." She said looking at the training room. So Buffy and spike were talking. Dawn thought in interrupting but it seemed for the best to let her be. She'll tell her tomorrow.

"Bye." Dawn wave to Fred before rushing to her room. Spike always had the weirdest taste in women.

* * *

"You think the kiss was a mistake." Spike started up the conversation that didn't seemed to want to start. 

"Is not that." Buffy sat in a chair near the windows. "Spike... I'm glad you came... but right now... it would feel... I mean us, it wouldn't be the right thing to do"

"Because of Angel?" Spike hated immediately having brought his name up.

"Is not that... you being here for me is something I want... but for the wrong reasons... I would feel like I was using you... again... I couldn't lived with myself."

"Oh..." Spike honestly did not expect this. Or he did but was still in denial about it. After all the last time Buffy said she was only using him he... he tried to... he couldn't even think of it. The whole situation still rang strong in his head. How weak Buffy looked in that moment. What if she hadn't stopped him?

"Spike?" Buffy brought Spike from his thoughts. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Buffy looked at him. "What?"

"Why did you say I didn't love you?" Buffy asked.

"Because it was the truth... Wasn't it?"

"I do have feeling for you..." Buffy trailed off.

"But I'm not the one..." Spike finished for her. "I never was."

"Spike..."

"I'm fine. I just came to give you the message. I'll be leaving tomorrow night."

Buffy looked at him surprise. Maybe a little hurt. But Spike had made up his mind even before the kiss. This was always going to be goodbye.

"Best leave this like this then..." Spike said after a while.

"With no ending?"

"We already had our ending. You just need to find a happy one for yourself."

Buffy stood and walked up to Spike. "I hope you find one too." Buffy walked closer and they kissed for the last time. Spike walked out without looking back. He met with Illyria and left the school. At least he didn't get burn alive.

* * *

"Andrew." Xander finally spoke. "What are you-" 

"Are you going back to Africa?" Andrew blurted out.

Xander didn't answer right away. Not because he didn't understand the question, he even was not surprise by it. He just didn't know the answer. "What?" he finally said, deciding to play dumb until Andrew revealed his true reasons.

"I... I... I don't want you to go..." Andrew looked down. Xander did not liked seeing Andrew in this situation. Andrew continued. "I really don't understand why'd you left. But you're here again... And..." He trailed off.

"Andrew..." Xander needed to make this right. "Why... do you want to be with me? After I left... I don't understand."

Andrew looked up. He was crying. Xander felt his hearth sink down as Andrew spoke. "You were the first person in my life that wanted me."

"That's not-"

"It is. I never been wanted... I mean even here all of your friends just got use to me... but you wanted me..."

"But not for the right reasons." Xander explained.

"Can't you see I don't care about the reasons?" Xander have never seen Andrew speak determined. "What we have is real! The only real thing I have... and I don't want to give it up..." He trailed off again, this time dropping on his knees looking down. It was almost like he used all his strength on his argument. But Xander knew it was because he felt he would lose the only happiness he had.

And that's when he realizes it. He only had focus on how bad he made Andrew feel, but the he ever notice how good he made Andrew feel? Xander have never seen Andrew as happy as he was in those four months they were together.

"Andrew..." Xander started but didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure of his feelings anymore. Was he ever sure? Maybe not. But the real question still remained. Did he want to be happy? Yes he did. So, what's the only thing... that made him happy now?

Andrew.

"I want to stay." He told the younger man. And he did want to. He did feel guilty for what he did, but regardless of the reason they got together, Xander was sure of something. He didn't want to be apart. "I want to stay." He reappeared.

"Really? With me." Andrew said looking back up.

"Yes. With you. You're right. The reason is not important." Xander joined Andrew on he floor and wrap his arms around him. He was not leaving him again. And for the first time Xander felt he was making the right decision. Because he may not be in loved, but he was certainly starting to be.

* * *

**T**hat morning, Dawn found Buffy and Willow eating breakfast. Was she dreaming? Buffy was up. Maybe Spike's talk when better than she thought. "Morning." She greeted 

"Morning." Buffy greeted back.

"Did you sleep ok, Dawnie?" Willow asked as she made room for Dawn to sit down.

"Well there was a commotion last night in the halls, but I slept ok."

"Oh?" Willow looked puzzled. "I guess I was to tired to hear it."

"What about you Buffy?" Dawn questioned. "How was your night?"

Buffy smiled. "Good. I think I'm going to be ok." Dawn smiled back. She wondered what Spike said to her. She also wondered if she would see Spike again. Probably not. But although she had nothing against Spike now, she didn't think that his absence would be something bad. Though she would always wondered were he was.

* * *

**A**s the ship left the pier, Spike looked at his homeland one more time. Maybe he would return in 50 years. Right now, he had to find a new reason for him to be. 

"What comes after this?" Illyria asked as she approached him.

Spike looked at her then back at the sea. "Everything."

**End.**


End file.
